What Is the Difference Between Showing and Telling in a Short Story
What are showing and telling in short story writing?
In the realm of short story writing, showing and telling are two fundamental techniques that writers employ to convey information and evoke emotions in their readers. These methods serve as the building blocks of narrative craftsmanship, each playing a distinct role in how a story unfolds and resonates with its audience.
Showing, often referred to as “scene,” is a technique where writers present vivid, sensory details that allow readers to experience the story as if they were witnessing it firsthand. This approach engages the reader’s imagination, enabling them to draw their own conclusions based on the information provided. Showing involves using descriptive language, dialogue, and action to paint a picture in the reader’s mind.
For example, instead of simply stating that a character is nervous, a writer might show this by describing the character’s fidgeting hands, sweaty palms, or rapid heartbeat. This technique immerses readers in the story, making them feel more connected to the characters and events.
Telling, on the other hand, is a more direct approach where the writer explicitly states information, emotions, or events. This method, also known as “summary,” can be useful for conveying background information, transitioning between scenes, or providing context that would be cumbersome to show in detail.
An example of telling might be: “John was nervous about his upcoming presentation.” While this statement directly informs the reader about John’s emotional state, it doesn’t engage the reader’s senses or imagination in the same way that showing would.
The distinction between showing and telling is not always clear-cut, and skilled writers often blend these techniques to create a balanced and engaging narrative. Understanding when to use each method is a crucial skill for short story writers, as it affects pacing, character development, and overall reader engagement.
To illustrate the difference between showing and telling, consider the following table:
| Aspect | Showing | Telling |
|---|---|---|
| Description | Uses sensory details and specific actions | Directly states facts or emotions |
| Reader Engagement | Encourages readers to interpret and imagine | Provides information straightforwardly |
| Pacing | Generally slower, more immersive | Usually faster, more concise |
| Example | Sarah’s fingers trembled as she reached for the doorknob, her breath catching in her throat. | Sarah was scared to open the door. |
In short story writing, the choice between showing and telling can significantly impact how readers perceive and connect with the narrative. While showing often creates a more immersive experience, telling can be efficient for conveying necessary information quickly. The art of storytelling lies in knowing when and how to employ each technique effectively.
How do showing and telling affect reader experience?
The choice between showing and telling in short story writing profoundly influences the reader’s experience, shaping their emotional connection, level of engagement, and overall enjoyment of the narrative. Understanding these effects is essential for writers aiming to craft compelling and impactful short stories.
Showing typically creates a more immersive and engaging reading experience. When writers show rather than tell, they invite readers to become active participants in the story. This technique stimulates the reader’s senses and imagination, allowing them to visualize scenes, interpret characters’ emotions, and draw their own conclusions. As a result, readers often feel more emotionally invested in the story and its characters.
For instance, when a writer shows a character’s anger through actions and dialogue rather than simply stating it, readers can empathize more deeply with the character’s emotional state. This heightened emotional connection can lead to a more memorable and impactful reading experience.
Telling, in contrast, often creates a more distant relationship between the reader and the story. While it can be efficient for conveying information quickly, excessive telling may result in a less engaging experience. Readers might feel like passive recipients of information rather than active participants in the narrative.
However, telling isn’t without its merits in affecting reader experience. When used judiciously, it can provide clarity, offer necessary context, and control the pacing of the story. Telling can be particularly effective in summarizing events or providing background information that would be tedious or impractical to show in detail.
The balance between showing and telling also influences the reader’s perception of time within the story. Showing tends to slow down the narrative pace, allowing readers to savor moments and details. This can be particularly effective for emphasizing important scenes or building tension. Telling, on the other hand, can quicken the pace, which may be desirable when transitioning between scenes or summarizing less critical events.
Another aspect to consider is how showing and telling affect character development and reader connection. Showing often allows readers to form their own opinions about characters based on their actions, dialogue, and interactions. This can lead to a deeper, more nuanced understanding of characters. Telling, while more direct, might limit the reader’s ability to interpret characters independently, potentially resulting in a less complex character portrayal.
The impact of showing and telling on reader experience can be further illustrated through this comparative table:
| Aspect | Showing | Telling | Effect on Reader Experience |
|---|---|---|---|
| Emotional Engagement | High | Low to Moderate | Showing creates stronger emotional connections |
| Imagination Stimulation | High | Low | Showing encourages readers to visualize and interpret |
| Pacing | Slower, more detailed | Faster, more concise | Affects the perceived passage of time in the story |
| Character Understanding | Nuanced, interpretive | Direct, explicit | Showing allows for more complex character perceptions |
| Reader Role | Active participant | Passive recipient | Showing engages readers more actively in the story |
It’s important to note that the effects of showing and telling can vary depending on the story’s genre, target audience, and overall narrative goals. For example, in a fast-paced thriller, more telling might be appropriate to maintain tension and quick progression of events. Conversely, in a character-driven literary piece, extensive showing might be preferred to delve deep into characters’ psyches and relationships.
Ultimately, the most effective short stories often strike a balance between showing and telling, leveraging the strengths of each technique to create a rich, engaging reader experience. By understanding how these techniques affect readers, writers can make informed decisions about when to show and when to tell, crafting stories that resonate deeply with their audience.
What are effective techniques for showing in short stories?
Mastering the art of showing in short stories is a powerful way to engage readers and bring your narrative to life. Effective showing techniques allow writers to create vivid, immersive experiences that resonate with readers long after they’ve finished the story. Here are several powerful techniques for showing in short stories, along with examples and explanations of their effectiveness.
Sensory Details
One of the most potent tools for showing is the use of sensory details. By engaging the reader’s five senses – sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch – writers can create a rich, textured world that feels real and immediate.
Example: “The rusty hinges creaked as Sarah pushed open the old barn door. The musty scent of hay and leather assaulted her nostrils, and her fingers traced the rough, splintered wood of the doorframe.”
This description engages multiple senses, allowing readers to experience the scene alongside the character.
Specific Actions
Describing specific actions rather than general statements can effectively show a character’s emotions or personality.
Example: Instead of saying “John was angry,” you might write: “John slammed his fist on the table, causing the coffee cups to rattle. His jaw clenched as he glared at the document before him.”
This approach not only shows John’s anger but also gives insight into his personality and the intensity of his emotions.
Dialogue
Well-crafted dialogue can reveal character traits, emotions, and relationships without explicitly stating them.
Example:
“You’re late again,” Sarah said, her eyes fixed on the clock.
“Traffic was terrible,” Mike mumbled, avoiding her gaze.
“It always is when you go to that bar after work.”
This exchange shows the tension in their relationship and suggests a recurring issue without directly stating it.
Body Language
Describing a character’s physical reactions and movements can effectively show their emotional state or thoughts.
Example: “As the professor announced the surprise quiz, Emma’s shoulders tensed. She chewed her lower lip, her pencil tapping an erratic rhythm on the desk.”
These physical cues show Emma’s anxiety without explicitly stating it.
Metaphors and Similes
Using figurative language can create vivid imagery and convey complex emotions or ideas in a concise, memorable way.
Example: “Her words hung in the air like a fog, obscuring the truth he desperately sought.”
This metaphor shows the confusion and frustration caused by unclear communication.
Environmental Details
The setting can reflect or contrast with a character’s mood or the story’s tone, effectively showing the atmosphere without direct exposition.
Example: “The once-vibrant flowers in the garden had withered, their dry petals scattered across the cracked earth. The paint on the house peeled in long strips, revealing the weathered wood beneath.”
This description of the environment might reflect a character’s neglect or a period of decline, showing these concepts through the setting rather than stating them directly.
Contrast
Juxtaposing contrasting elements can effectively show complex emotions or situations.
Example: “Despite the cheerful birthday decorations adorning the room, Sarah sat alone at the table, her untouched cake illuminated by the flickering candles.”
This contrast between the celebratory setting and Sarah’s solitude shows her loneliness or disappointment without explicitly stating it.
Specific Details
Using precise, concrete details rather than vague generalities can make a scene more vivid and believable.
Example: Instead of “She wore old clothes,” you might write: “She wore a faded blue dress with a frayed hem, patched at the elbows with mismatched fabric.”
This level of detail not only creates a clearer image but also suggests information about the character’s economic status or personal history.
To further illustrate the effectiveness of these showing techniques, consider the following table comparing telling statements with showing examples:
| Telling Statement | Showing Example | Effect |
|---|---|---|
| Tom was nervous | Tom’s palms were slick with sweat as he fumbled with his tie, his reflection in the mirror revealing dilated pupils and a pale complexion | Creates a vivid image of nervousness, engaging multiple senses |
| The room was messy | Dirty clothes formed small mountains on the floor, empty pizza boxes teetered precariously on the overflowing trash can, and a fine layer of dust coated every surface | Paints a detailed picture of the room’s state, allowing readers to visualize the mess |
| Mary and John argued | Mary’s voice rose with each word, her gestures becoming more animated as John’s jaw clenched tighter, his responses clipped and cold | Shows the escalation and nature of the argument through actions and dialogue |
| The weather was bad | Rain lashed against the windows, driven by howling winds that bent the trees nearly double. Lightning illuminated the sky in brief, violent flashes | Creates an immersive experience of the storm, engaging multiple senses |
Implementing these showing techniques effectively requires practice and a keen eye for detail. Writers should strive to balance these techniques with moments of telling to create a well-paced, engaging narrative. By mastering the art of showing, short story writers can create vivid, memorable experiences that resonate deeply with their readers, bringing their stories to life in the minds and hearts of their audience.
When is telling appropriate in short fiction?
While showing is often emphasized in creative writing, telling has its place in short fiction and can be a powerful tool when used judiciously. Understanding when to employ telling can enhance the overall effectiveness of a short story. Here are several situations where telling is not only appropriate but often preferable in short fiction:
Providing Background Information
Telling can be an efficient way to convey necessary background information or context that would be cumbersome or time-consuming to show.
Example: “Sarah had lived in New York for ten years before moving to the small town of Millbrook.”
This simple statement provides important context about the character’s background without dedicating excessive space to showing this information through scenes or dialogue.
Transitioning Between Scenes
Telling can be used effectively to bridge gaps in time or location, maintaining the story’s flow without unnecessary detail.
Example: “Three months passed, and winter settled over the city.”
This brief telling statement moves the story forward in time without the need for extensive showing of the passage of time.
Summarizing Less Important Events
Not every event in a story needs to be shown in detail. Telling can be used to summarize less critical events, maintaining the story’s pace.
Example: “Over the next few weeks, John interviewed several candidates for the position, none of whom quite fit the bill.”
This summary tells the reader what happened without dedicating significant space to showing each interview.
Establishing Tone or Mood
Sometimes, a direct statement can effectively set the tone or mood of a story or scene.
Example: “The town hadn’t seen a murder in fifty years. That changed on a cold Tuesday in November.”
This telling statement immediately establishes a sense of foreboding and sets the stage for the events to come.
Conveying Internal Thoughts
While internal monologue can be a form of showing, sometimes a direct statement of a character’s thoughts or feelings is more appropriate, especially in third-person narratives.
Example: “Mark knew he should feel guilty, but all he felt was relief.”
This direct statement of Mark’s emotional state can be more effective than trying to show these complex, internal feelings.
Maintaining Pacing
In short fiction, where word count is limited, telling can help maintain a brisk pace when necessary.
Example: “The next day was a blur of meetings and phone calls.”
This telling statement moves the story forward quickly without bogging down the narrative with unnecessary details.
Emphasizing Important Information
Sometimes, directly stating a fact can emphasize its importance more effectively than showing it.
Example: “What Sarah didn’t know was that the letter would change her life forever.”
This direct statement creates anticipation and emphasizes the significance of the letter.
Providing Necessary Exposition
In genres like science fiction or fantasy, some degree of telling might be necessary to explain unique aspects of the world or system.
Example: “On Zargon, gravity was three times stronger than on Earth, making every movement a struggle for off-worlders.”
This exposition efficiently explains a crucial aspect of the story’s setting.
To further illustrate when telling is appropriate in short fiction, consider the following table:
| Situation | Telling Example | Why Telling Works |
|---|---|---|
| Historical Context | The Great Depression had left its mark on every family in town | Quickly establishes historical setting without extensive showing |
| Character Backstory | John had been a soldier before becoming a teacher | Provides essential character information concisely |
| Time Passage | A year passed, and the seasons changed | Efficiently moves the story forward in time |
| Internal Realization | Suddenly, Mary understood the true meaning of sacrifice | Directly conveys a complex internal process |
| Setting Description | The city was a maze of neon lights and towering skyscrapers | Quickly establishes the setting’s atmosphere |
It’s important to note that the appropriateness of telling versus showing often depends on the specific context of the story, its genre, and the writer’s stylistic choices. Some genres, like literary fiction, might lean more heavily towards showing, while others, like certain types of genre fiction, might employ more telling to convey complex world-building elements efficiently.
The key to effective use of telling in short fiction lies in understanding its purpose and using it strategically. When employed judiciously, telling can enhance the narrative by providing necessary information, maintaining pacing, and allowing the writer to focus on the most critical elements of the story. The art of good storytelling often lies in knowing when to show, when to tell, and how to balance these techniques to create a compelling and efficient narrative.
How can writers balance showing and telling?
Balancing showing and telling is a crucial skill for short story writers. This balance is not about adhering to a strict ratio, but rather about using each technique strategically to enhance the overall narrative. Achieving this balance requires a nuanced understanding of storytelling and a willingness to experiment with different approaches. Here are several strategies writers can employ to effectively balance showing and telling in their short fiction:
Understand the Purpose of Each Scene
Before deciding whether to show or tell, consider the purpose of each scene or section in your story. Ask yourself:
– What is the main point or emotion I want to convey?
– How important is this information to the overall narrative?
– Will showing this scene enhance the reader’s experience, or is it better to summarize?
By answering these questions, you can determine whether showing or telling will be more effective for each part of your story.
Use Telling for Transitions and Summaries
Telling can be particularly useful for transitioning between scenes or summarizing less important events. This allows you to maintain the story’s pace without getting bogged down in unnecessary details.
Example: “The next few months passed in a blur of late nights and coffee-fueled coding sessions. By spring, the app was ready for beta testing.”
This telling statement efficiently moves the story forward, allowing the writer to focus on more critical scenes.
Show Key Moments and Emotions
For pivotal scenes or intense emotional moments, showing is often more effective. It allows readers to experience these moments alongside the characters, creating a stronger emotional connection.
Example: Instead of “John was devastated by the news,” you might write:
“John’s hands trembled as he read theJohn’s hands trembled as he read the letter, his vision blurring as tears welled up. The paper slipped from his fingers, floating to the floor as he sank into his chair, his breath coming in ragged gasps.”
This showing example allows readers to experience John’s devastation more viscerally.
Vary Sentence Structure and Length
Balancing showing and telling often involves varying your sentence structure and length. Longer, more descriptive sentences can be used for showing, while shorter, more direct sentences can be effective for telling.
Example: “The old house loomed before them, its weathered boards creaking in the wind, shadows dancing across boarded-up windows. Sarah hesitated. This was a bad idea.”
The longer, descriptive sentence shows the scene, while the shorter sentences tell Sarah’s reaction and thoughts.
Use Dialogue to Show Character and Advance Plot
Dialogue can be an effective way to show character traits, relationships, and plot developments without resorting to excessive telling.
Example:
“You’re late again,” Sarah said, her eyes narrowing.
“I’m sorry, the meeting ran long and—”
“Save it, John. We both know where you’ve been.”
This dialogue shows the tension in their relationship and hints at underlying issues without explicitly telling the reader.
Incorporate Telling into Showing
Sometimes, you can blend telling and showing by incorporating brief moments of telling into predominantly showing passages.
Example: “As the sun dipped below the horizon, painting the sky in brilliant oranges and pinks, Maria felt a sense of peace wash over her. She knew, in that moment, that everything would be alright.”
The first part of this example shows the scene, while the last sentence tells Maria’s internal realization.
Use Telling for Worldbuilding in Genre Fiction
In genres like science fiction or fantasy, some degree of telling might be necessary to explain unique aspects of the world. However, try to integrate this information naturally into the narrative.
Example: “On Zargon, where gravity was three times stronger than Earth, Sarah’s muscles strained with every step. She’d been warned about this, but experiencing it was something else entirely.”
This example blends telling (the information about gravity) with showing (Sarah’s physical experience).
Consider Point of View
The balance of showing and telling can be influenced by the point of view you choose for your story. First-person narratives might include more telling of the narrator’s thoughts and feelings, while third-person narratives might lean more towards showing.
Edit with Balance in Mind
During the revision process, pay attention to the balance of showing and telling. Look for opportunities to convert telling to showing where it would enhance the story, and consider summarizing less important shown scenes.
Practice and Seek Feedback
Balancing showing and telling is a skill that improves with practice. Write regularly and seek feedback from other writers or beta readers. They can often point out areas where the balance could be improved.
To illustrate the balance of showing and telling, consider this table comparing different approaches to the same scene:
| All Telling | Balanced Approach | All Showing |
|---|---|---|
| John was nervous about his presentation. He gave the talk and it went well. His boss was impressed. | John’s palms were sweaty as he approached the podium. He took a deep breath, remembering the hours of preparation he’d put in. “Good morning,” he began, his voice steadier than he felt. An hour later, as applause filled the room, he caught his boss’s approving nod. | John’s heart raced as he stood before the crowd. His fingers trembled slightly as he adjusted his tie. “G-good morning,” he stammered, clearing his throat. He fumbled with his notes, dropping a page. As he bent to retrieve it, he heard a chuckle from the audience. Straightening, he forced a smile and began again. An hour passed, filled with charts, questions, and explanations. As he concluded, the room erupted in applause. His boss approached, hand extended. “Well done, John. I’m impressed.” |
The balanced approach combines elements of showing (John’s physical reactions) with some telling (summarizing the presentation’s duration and outcome), creating a concise yet engaging narrative.
Balancing showing and telling is not about adhering to strict rules, but about making conscious choices that serve your story best. By understanding the strengths of each technique and practicing their application, writers can create short stories that are engaging, efficient, and emotionally resonant.
What are common pitfalls in show vs. tell writing?
Even experienced writers can fall into traps when it comes to balancing showing and telling in their short stories. Recognizing these common pitfalls is the first step toward avoiding them and improving your storytelling skills. Here are some of the most frequent issues writers encounter in the show vs. tell dynamic, along with strategies to overcome them:
Overreliance on Telling
One of the most common pitfalls is relying too heavily on telling, particularly for new writers. This often results in a narrative that feels flat and unengaging.
Example of overreliance on telling: “John was angry. He went to the store. He bought milk. He came home.”
This passage fails to engage the reader’s imagination or emotions. To avoid this pitfall, look for opportunities to show character emotions and important actions.
Improved version: “John’s jaw clenched as he stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind him. At the store, he grabbed a carton of milk, nearly crushing it in his grip as he threw a crumpled bill at the cashier. The drive home was a blur of muttered curses and white knuckles on the steering wheel.”
Showing Everything
On the opposite end of the spectrum, some writers fall into the trap of trying to show every detail, resulting in overly long, tedious narratives.
Example of excessive showing: “Sarah’s index finger extended towards the smooth, cool surface of the light switch. The pad of her finger made contact with the plastic, applying gentle pressure. The switch moved downward with a soft click, and suddenly, the room was plunged into darkness.”
This level of detail for a simple action like turning off a light is unnecessary and can slow the pace of the story. Remember that some actions or details can be told briefly without losing the story’s impact.
Improved version: “Sarah flicked off the light, plunging the room into darkness.”
Telling Emotions
A common mistake is directly telling the reader how a character feels instead of showing it through actions, dialogue, or physical reactions.
Example of telling emotions: “Lisa was sad and angry about the breakup.”
This statement doesn’t allow readers to connect with Lisa’s emotions. Instead, show her emotional state through her actions and reactions.
Improved version: “Lisa’s eyes burned as she stared at the framed photo, her vision blurring. With a sudden, choked sob, she hurled the frame across the room, watching it shatter against the wall.”
Inconsistent Use of Showing and Telling
Some writers show in some parts of their story but resort to telling in others, creating an uneven reading experience.
Example of inconsistency: “The old house loomed before them, its weathered boards creaking in the wind, shadows dancing across boarded-up windows. Sarah was scared. John was excited.”
The description of the house uses showing effectively, but then reverts to telling for the characters’ reactions.
Improved version: “The old house loomed before them, its weathered boards creaking in the wind, shadows dancing across boarded-up windows. Sarah’s steps faltered, her hand instinctively reaching for John’s arm. But John leaned forward, his eyes wide with excitement, a grin spreading across his face.”
Overuse of Adverbs in Dialogue Tags
Relying on adverbs to show how a character is speaking is often a form of telling that can be replaced with more effective showing.
Example of adverb overuse: “I hate you,” she said angrily. “Please don’t go,” he said sadly.
Instead of using adverbs, show the character’s emotions through their actions or the dialogue itself.
Improved version: “I hate you,” she spat, her hands clenching into fists. “Please don’t go,” he whispered, his shoulders slumping as he reached for her hand.
Mixing Showing and Telling Inappropriately
Sometimes writers mix showing and telling in ways that diminish the impact of the showing.
Example of inappropriate mixing: “John’s face turned red with anger. He was furious about the insult.”
The first sentence shows John’s anger effectively, making the second sentence redundant and less impactful.
Improved version: “John’s face turned red, his nostrils flaring as he glared at the speaker.”
Telling After Showing
A related pitfall is showing something effectively, then following it up with unnecessary telling that explains what was just shown.
Example of telling after showing: “Sarah’s hands shook as she opened the letter, her heart pounding in her chest. She was nervous about its contents.”
The last sentence is unnecessary, as the showing in the first sentence already effectively conveys Sarah’s nervousness.
Improved version: “Sarah’s hands shook as she opened the letter, her heart pounding in her chest. She took a deep breath and began to read.”
To further illustrate these pitfalls and their solutions, consider the following table:
| Pitfall | Example | Improved Version |
|---|---|---|
| Overreliance on Telling | The party was fun. Everyone enjoyed themselves. | Laughter and music filled the air as guests mingled, glasses clinking in toasts. On the dance floor, even the wallflowers found themselves tapping their feet to the beat. |
| Showing Everything | He slowly raised his right hand, extending his index finger. The finger moved towards the doorbell, pressing against the cool plastic surface. A chime sounded inside the house. | He rang the doorbell. |
| Telling Emotions | Mark was very happy about the promotion. | Mark’s face split into a wide grin as he read the email. He leapt from his chair, punching the air with a triumphant “Yes!” |
| Inconsistent Use | The storm raged outside, wind howling and rain lashing against the windows. John was scared. | The storm raged outside, wind howling and rain lashing against the windows. John huddled under his blanket, flinching at every crack of thunder. |
| Overuse of Adverbs | “I’m leaving,” she said angrily. | “I’m leaving,” she snapped, slamming her suitcase shut. |
Recognizing these pitfalls is the first step in avoiding them. As you write and revise your short stories, be mindful of these common issues. Practice identifying them in your own work and in the writing of others. With time and effort, you’ll develop a keen sense for balancing showing and telling, creating more engaging and effective narratives.
Remember, the goal is not to eliminate telling entirely, but to use both showing and telling judiciously to create a compelling story. By avoiding these common pitfalls, you can craft short stories that engage readers, evoke emotions, and leave a lasting impression.
How can writers improve their showing skills?
Improving your ability to show rather than tell is a crucial skill for any writer, particularly those focused on short stories where every word counts. Enhancing your showing skills can significantly elevate the quality of your writing, creating more engaging and immersive experiences for your readers. Here are several strategies and exercises to help writers improve their showing skills:
Practice Sensory Writing
One of the most effective ways to show rather than tell is to engage the reader’s senses. Practice describing scenes, emotions, or experiences using all five senses: sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch.
Exercise: Choose an emotion (e.g., fear, joy, anger) and write a paragraph describing it using only sensory details, without naming the emotion itself.
Example for fear: “Her heart pounded against her ribs, each beat echoing in her ears. Sweat beaded on her forehead, trickling down her spine. The acrid taste of bile rose in her throat as her vision narrowed, the edges of her sight growing dark.”
Use Specific, Concrete Details
Replace vague, general descriptions with specific, concrete details that paint a vivid picture in the reader’s mind.
Exercise: Take a simple sentence that tells something, and rewrite it using specific details to show the same information.
Original: “The old man was poor.”
Improved: “The old man’s threadbare coat hung loosely on his thin frame, its frayed cuffs barely covering his wrists. He counted out pennies from a worn leather wallet, his gnarled fingers trembling as he placed them on the store counter.”
Focus on Actions and Reactions
Instead of stating a character’s emotions or thoughts directly, show them through the character’s actions, reactions, and body language.
Exercise: Write a scene where a character receives unexpected news, but don’t state their emotional reaction directly. Instead, show it through their physical responses and actions.
Example: “As Sarah read the email, her fingers tightened around the phone, knuckles turning white. She blinked rapidly, reading the words again and again. Suddenly, she bolted from her chair, nearly knocking it over as she rushed to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.”
Craft Meaningful Dialogue
Well-written dialogue can be a powerful tool for showing character emotions, relationships, and plot developments without resorting to explicit telling.
Exercise: Write a conversation between two characters who are in conflict, but don’t state the nature of their conflict directly. Show it through their words, tone, and actions during the dialogue.
Example:
“You’re late,” Sarah said, her eyes fixed on the clock.
“Traffic was terrible,” Mike mumbled, avoiding her gaze.
“It always is when you go to that bar after work.”
Mike’s jaw clenched. “I told you, I was at the office.”
“Right,” Sarah scoffed, turning away. “I’m sure the office smells like cheap perfume and whiskey.”
Use Metaphors and Similes
Figurative language can be a powerful way to show complex emotions or ideas in a concise, memorable way.
Exercise: Take an abstract concept (like love, fear, or time) and create five different metaphors or similes to describe it.
Example for time:
– Time is a river, carrying us relentlessly forward.
– The minutes crawled by like wounded soldiers on a battlefield.
– Time slipped through her fingers like fine sand.
– The years ahead loomed like a mountain range, daunting and unexplored.
– Time danced around them, a whirlwind of moments too fleeting to grasp.
Practice Showing Internal States
Showing a character’s internal thoughts and feelings without resorting to direct statements can be challenging but rewarding.
Exercise: Write a paragraph showing a character’s internal struggle without using any words directly stating emotions (e.g., angry, sad, conflicted).
Example: “Sarah’s mind raced, replaying the conversation over and over. Her fingers drummed an erratic rhythm on the steering wheel as she drove, her foot heavy on the accelerator. She caught sight of her reflection in the rearview mirror – jaw clenched, brow furrowed. With a sudden jerk, she pulled the car over, her breath coming in short, sharp gasps.”
Use Setting to Reflect Mood
The environment can be a powerful tool for showing the mood or emotional state of a character or scene.
Exercise: Describe the same location twice, altering the details to reflect two different moods (e.g., joy and despair).
Example:
Joy: “The park burst with color, flowers nodding their bright heads in the gentle breeze. Children’s laughter rang out from the playground, mingling with the cheerful songs of birds.”
Despair: “Grey clouds hung low over the park, casting long shadows across the withered grass. The empty playground stood silent, its rusted swings creaking mournfully in the cold wind.”
Revise Telling into Showing
Practice identifying instances of telling in your own writing and revise them into showing.
Exercise: Take a paragraph from one of your stories that relies heavily on telling. Rewrite it, focusing on showing the same information through actions, dialogue, and sensory details.
Original (Telling): “John was nervous about his date. He arrived at the restaurant early and waited anxiously. When Sarah arrived, he was happy to see her.”
Revised (Showing): “John’s palms were slick with sweat as he checked his watch for the third time in as many minutes. He fidgeted with the silverware, rearranging it on the crisp white tablecloth. The chime of the restaurant door sent his heart racing. He looked up, his breath catching in his throat as Sarah walked in, a vision in blue. A smile spread across his face, tension melting from his shoulders as she approached the table.”
To further illustrate the process of improving showing skills, consider this table comparing telling statements with their shown counterparts:
| Telling Statement | Shown Version |
|---|---|
| The room was messy | Dirty clothes formed small mountains on the floor, empty pizza boxes teetered precariously on the overflowing trash can, and a fine layer of dust coated every surface |
| She was beautiful | Heads turned as she entered the room, her graceful movements and radiant smile drawing all eyes to her |
| He was angry | His face flushed red, veinsHis face flushed red, veins bulging in his neck as he clenched his fists, knuckles turning white |
| The food was delicious | She closed her eyes as the flavors exploded on her tongue, a soft moan of pleasure escaping her lips |
Improving your showing skills is an ongoing process that requires practice, patience, and a willingness to revise and refine your work. By consistently applying these techniques and exercises, you can develop a more nuanced and engaging writing style that draws readers into your short stories, making them feel as if they’re experiencing the events firsthand rather than simply being told about them.
How do master storytellers use showing and telling?
Master storytellers have honed their craft to expertly balance showing and telling, creating narratives that are both engaging and efficient. Their approach to this balance often sets them apart, allowing them to create memorable, impactful stories. Here’s an exploration of how master storytellers typically use showing and telling in their work:
Strategic Use of Telling
Master storytellers understand that telling has its place in narrative. They use it strategically to:
- Provide necessary background information concisely
- Transition between scenes or time periods
- Summarize less important events to maintain pacing
- Establish tone or mood quickly
Example from Ernest Hemingway’s “The Old Man and the Sea”:
“He was an old man who fished alone in a skiff in the Gulf Stream and he had gone eighty-four days now without taking a fish.”
This opening line uses telling to efficiently establish the setting and the old man’s situation, setting the stage for the story to unfold.
Showing for Emotional Impact
When it comes to pivotal moments or intense emotions, master storytellers often shift to showing, allowing readers to experience these moments vividly.
Example from Virginia Woolf’s “Mrs. Dalloway”:
“She had the perpetual sense, as she watched the taxi cabs, of being out, out, far out to sea and alone; she always had the feeling that it was very, very dangerous to live even one day.”
Woolf shows Clarissa Dalloway’s sense of isolation and fear through this vivid metaphor, rather than simply stating that she felt alone and afraid.
Balancing Internal and External
Skilled writers often use a combination of showing and telling to balance a character’s internal state with external actions and dialogue.
Example from F. Scott Fitzgerald’s “The Great Gatsby”:
“He smiled understandingly-much more than understandingly. It was one of those rare smiles with a quality of eternal reassurance in it, that you may come across four or five times in life.”
Fitzgerald shows Gatsby’s smile while telling us about its rare quality, effectively conveying both the physical action and its deeper significance.
Using Dialogue to Show Character and Advance Plot
Master storytellers often use dialogue to show character traits, relationships, and plot developments without resorting to explicit telling.
Example from Jane Austen’s “Pride and Prejudice”:
“For heaven’s sake, madam, speak lower. What advantage can it be for you to offend Mr. Darcy? You will never recommend yourself to his friend by so doing!”
This dialogue shows Mr. Collins’ obsequious nature and his relationship to both Mrs. Bennet and Mr. Darcy without explicitly stating these facts.
Selective Detail
Master storytellers are adept at choosing which details to show and which to omit, creating a balance that engages the reader’s imagination without overwhelming them.
Example from Toni Morrison’s “Beloved”:
“124 was spiteful. Full of a baby’s venom. The women in the house knew it and so did the children. For years each put up with the spite in his own way, but by 1873 Sethe and her daughter Denver were its only victims.”
Morrison selectively shows the house’s malevolence while telling us about its effect on the inhabitants, creating an intriguing blend of the supernatural and the everyday.
Using Setting to Show Mood and Theme
Skilled writers often use descriptions of the setting to show the mood of a scene or reflect broader themes in the story.
Example from Charles Dickens’ “Great Expectations”:
“It was a rimy morning, and very damp. I had seen the damp lying on the outside of my little window, as if some goblin had been crying there all night, and using the window for a pocket-handkerchief.”
Dickens uses the description of the morning to show the gloomy, oppressive atmosphere that pervades Pip’s early life.
Blending Showing and Telling
Master storytellers often blend showing and telling seamlessly, creating a narrative that flows naturally between the two techniques.
Example from Gabriel García Márquez’s “One Hundred Years of Solitude”:
“Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendía was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice.”
This opening line blends telling (providing information about the future) with showing (the vivid image of discovering ice), creating an intriguing and memorable start to the novel.
To further illustrate how master storytellers use showing and telling, consider this comparative table:
| Author | Showing Example | Telling Example | Effect |
|---|---|---|---|
| Ernest Hemingway | “The old man was thin and gaunt with deep wrinkles in the back of his neck. The brown blotches of the benevolent skin cancer the sun brings from its reflection on the tropic sea were on his cheeks.” | “He was an old fisherman who fished alone in a skiff in the Gulf Stream and he had gone eighty-four days now without taking a fish.” | The showing example creates a vivid image of the old man, while the telling example efficiently sets up the story’s premise. |
| Virginia Woolf | “She had the perpetual sense, as she watched the taxi cabs, of being out, out, far out to sea and alone; she always had the feeling that it was very, very dangerous to live even one day.” | “Clarissa felt isolated and afraid.” | The showing example creates a more vivid and emotional experience for the reader, while the telling example, though clear, lacks the same impact. |
| F. Scott Fitzgerald | “He smiled understandingly-much more than understandingly. It was one of those rare smiles with a quality of eternal reassurance in it, that you may come across four or five times in life.” | “Gatsby had a reassuring smile.” | The showing example gives a much richer description of Gatsby’s smile and its effect, while the telling example, though concise, lacks depth. |
Master storytellers understand that the key to effective writing lies not in always showing or always telling, but in knowing when to use each technique to best serve the story. They seamlessly blend showing and telling, creating narratives that are both vivid and efficient, engaging readers on both emotional and intellectual levels. By studying the works of these master storytellers, writers can gain valuable insights into the art of balancing showing and telling in their own short stories.
How do showing and telling apply to different story elements?
Showing and telling techniques can be applied to various elements of a short story, each serving a unique purpose in crafting a compelling narrative. Understanding how these techniques work with different story elements can help writers create more nuanced and engaging stories. Let’s explore how showing and telling apply to key story elements:
Character Development
Showing:
– Reveal character traits through actions, dialogue, and interactions with other characters.
– Use physical descriptions and body language to convey personality and emotions.
Telling:
– Provide direct statements about a character’s background or personality when necessary for quick understanding.
– Use internal thoughts to give insight into a character’s mindset.
Example:
Showing: “John’s fingers drummed an impatient rhythm on the steering wheel as he glared at the red light, muttering under his breath.”
Telling: “John was an impatient man who hated waiting in traffic.”
Setting
Showing:
– Use sensory details to bring the setting to life.
– Incorporate the setting into character actions and reactions.
Telling:
– Provide brief, direct descriptions of the setting when necessary for context.
– Use telling to quickly establish time and place.
Example:
Showing: “The floorboards creaked under Sarah’s feet as she moved through the dimly lit hallway, the musty scent of old books filling her nostrils.”
Telling: “The house was old and filled with antique books.”
Plot Development
Showing:
– Reveal plot points through character actions, dialogue, and events.
– Use scenes to dramatize key moments in the story.
Telling:
– Summarize less important events or time passages to maintain pacing.
– Provide necessary background information or context for plot elements.
Example:
Showing: “As Maria opened the letter, her hands trembled. She read the first line, her eyes widening. The paper slipped from her fingers as she sank to her knees, a sob escaping her lips.”
Telling: “The letter contained shocking news that deeply upset Maria.”
Emotions
Showing:
– Describe physical reactions and behaviors that indicate emotional states.
– Use dialogue and internal thoughts to reveal feelings indirectly.
Telling:
– Directly state emotions when a quick, clear understanding is necessary.
– Use internal monologue to express complex emotional states.
Example:
Showing: “Tom’s heart raced as he approached the podium, his palms slick with sweat. He cleared his throat twice before speaking, his voice barely above a whisper.”
Telling: “Tom was extremely nervous about giving his speech.”
Conflict
Showing:
– Demonstrate conflict through character interactions, dialogue, and contrasting actions.
– Use scenes to dramatize moments of conflict.
Telling:
– Summarize ongoing or background conflicts when necessary for context.
– Directly state the nature of a conflict when quick understanding is crucial.
Example:
Showing: “Sarah’s jaw clenched as John walked into the room. She turned her back to him, focusing intently on her computer screen as he attempted to start a conversation.”
Telling: “Sarah and John were in the middle of a heated argument and weren’t on speaking terms.”
Theme
Showing:
– Convey themes through character actions, plot events, and symbolic elements.
– Use dialogue and character development to explore thematic ideas.
Telling:
– Occasionally use narrative statements to reinforce or clarify themes.
– Use character thoughts or reflections to directly address thematic concepts.
Example:
Showing: “As the old man watched the young couple walk hand in hand along the beach, a wistful smile played on his lips. He turned the worn wedding ring on his finger, his gaze drifting to the empty chair beside him.”
Telling: “The story explores themes of love, loss, and the passage of time.”
To further illustrate how showing and telling apply to different story elements, consider this comparative table:
| Story Element | Showing Example | Telling Example |
|---|---|---|
| Character | Maria bit her lip, her eyes darting nervously around the room as she clutched her purse tightly to her chest. | Maria was a nervous and anxious person. |
| Setting | The neon signs flickered weakly in the foggy night, casting an eerie glow on the rain-slicked streets. | The city was dark, foggy, and wet. |
| Plot | John’s hand shook as he dialed the number, his breath catching as he heard the first ring. When a familiar voice answered, he froze, unable to speak. | John called his estranged father after many years, but found himself unable to talk when his father answered. |
| Emotion | Tears welled up in Sarah’s eyes, but she blinked them back fiercely, squaring her shoulders and lifting her chin. | Sarah was sad but determined not to show it. |
| Conflict | Mark’s fist clenched around the crumpled letter as he glared across the room at his brother, who pointedly avoided his gaze. | There was tension between Mark and his brother due to the contents of a letter. |
| Theme | As the old tree was cut down, Mrs. Johnson watched from her window, tears streaming down her wrinkled cheeks. She touched the locket around her neck, remembering the day her late husband had proposed under that very tree. | The story explores themes of change, memory, and the passage of time. |
Understanding how to apply showing and telling techniques to different story elements allows writers to create more dynamic and engaging narratives. By strategically choosing when to show and when to tell for each element, writers can control pacing, emphasize important moments, and create a more immersive reading experience.
The key is to strike a balance that serves the story best. Showing can create vivid, memorable scenes and deep emotional connections, while telling can provide necessary context and move the story forward efficiently. By mastering the application of these techniques across various story elements, writers can craft short stories that are both richly detailed and compellingly paced.
What strategies can writers use to edit for show vs. tell?
Editing for show vs. tell is a crucial step in refining a short story. It involves carefully examining the text to ensure an effective balance between showing and telling, enhancing the overall impact of the narrative. Here are several strategies writers can employ when editing their work for show vs. tell:
1. Highlight Instances of Telling
Start by identifying clear instances of telling in your story. Look for:
– Direct statements of emotion (e.g., “She was angry”)
– Explanatory phrases (e.g., “He did this because…”)
– Adverbs that describe actions (e.g., “He said angrily”)
Once identified, evaluate whether these instances of telling serve a purpose (such as providing necessary context or maintaining pacing) or if they could be more effectively shown.
2. Create a Sensory Checklist
Develop a checklist of the five senses (sight, sound, smell, taste, touch) and use it to review your descriptions. Ensure you’re engaging multiple senses where appropriate to create more vivid, showing descriptions.
Example:
Before: “The beach was beautiful.”
After: “The sun-warmed sand shifted beneath her feet as the salty breeze tousled her hair. Seagulls cried overhead, their calls mixing with the rhythmic crash of waves on the shore.”
3. Analyze Dialogue and Actions
Examine your dialogue and character actions. Are they revealing character traits, emotions, and relationships, or are you relying on explanatory tags and descriptions?
Example:
Before: “I hate you,” she said angrily.
After: “I hate you,” she spat, her hands clenching into fists at her sides.
4. Look for Emotional Tells
Identify places where you directly state a character’s emotions. Consider replacing these with physical manifestations of those emotions.
Example:
Before: “John was nervous about the interview.”
After: “John’s palms were slick with sweat as he waited outside the interview room, his leg bouncing uncontrollably.”
5. Use the “Rule of Three”
When editing a section to show rather than tell, try to incorporate at least three sensory or descriptive details. This helps create a more vivid, immersive experience for the reader.
Example:
Before: “The room was messy.”
After: “Dirty clothes formed small mountains on the floor, empty pizza boxes teetered precariously on the overflowing trash can, and a fine layer of dust coated every surface.”
6. Evaluate Pacing
Consider the pacing of your story when deciding whether to show or tell. Sometimes, telling can be more appropriate for maintaining a brisk pace or summarizing less important information.
Example:
Showing (slow pace): “She woke up, stretched, and yawned. She swung her legs over the side of the bed, slipped her feet into her slippers, and shuffled to the bathroom. She turned on the tap, cupped her hands under the cool water, and splashed her face.”
Telling (faster pace): “She went through her morning routine.”
7. Use Beta Readers
Enlist the help of beta readers to identify areas where showing could be more effective. Often, fresh eyes can spot instances of telling that the writer might overlook.
8. Create a Telling vs. Showing Comparison Table
As you edit, create a table comparing telling statements with their shown counterparts. This can help you visualize the difference and make more informed choices about which to use.
| Telling | Showing |
|---|---|
| The old house was creepy. | Shadows danced across the peeling wallpaper as the floorboards creaked ominously underfoot. A musty odor permeated the air, and cobwebs clung to every corner. |
| Sarah was happy about the news. | Sarah’s face lit up, a wide grin spreading across her features as she read the email. She leapt from her chair, punching the air with a triumphant “Yes!” |
| The food was delicious. | The flavors exploded on his tongue – the rich, savory sauce, the tender meat, the perfect blend of spices. He closed his eyes, savoring each bite with a soft hum of pleasure. |
9. Use the “So What?” Test
For each description or piece of information in your story, ask yourself, “So what?” If youFor each description or piece of information in your story, ask yourself, “So what?” If you can’t justify its importance to the story or character development, consider removing or revising it.
10. Revise for Specificity
Look for general or vague descriptions and replace them with more specific, concrete details. This often naturally leads to more showing and less telling.
Example:
Before: “He ate quickly.”
After: “He shoveled forkfuls of food into his mouth, barely pausing to chew, his eyes darting nervously to the clock on the wall.”
11. Analyze Transitions
Pay attention to how you transition between scenes or time periods. While telling can be useful for quick transitions, consider if there are opportunities to show these changes in a more engaging way.
Example:
Before: “A week passed.”
After: “The calendar pages flipped by, each day blending into the next in a blur of meetings and deadlines.”
12. Check for Filter Words
Look for filter words (such as “felt,” “thought,” “wondered,” “realized”) that can create distance between the reader and the character’s experience. Often, removing these words results in more immediate, showing prose.
Example:
Before: “She felt the rough texture of the bark beneath her fingers.”
After: “The rough texture of the bark scraped against her fingers.”
13. Use Active Voice
Review your sentences for instances of passive voice, which often result in telling rather than showing. Converting to active voice frequently creates more dynamic, showing sentences.
Example:
Before: “The room was filled with tension.”
After: “Tension crackled in the air, the silence broken only by the ticking of the clock and the occasional shuffle of feet.”
14. Evaluate Metaphors and Similes
While metaphors and similes can be powerful tools for showing, overuse can become a form of telling. Ensure your figurative language enhances the narrative rather than distracting from it.
Example of effective use:
“Her words hung in the air like a fog, obscuring the truth he desperately sought.”
15. Create a Revision Checklist
Develop a personalized revision checklist based on your common “telling” habits. This might include:
– Checking for emotion words (angry, sad, happy) and replacing with physical descriptions
– Looking for adverbs ending in “-ly” and considering if they can be replaced with more vivid descriptions
– Identifying abstract nouns (love, fear, excitement) and finding ways to concretize them through actions or physical reactions
By systematically applying these strategies during the editing process, writers can significantly enhance the balance of showing and telling in their short stories. Remember, the goal is not to eliminate all instances of telling, but to use both techniques effectively to create a compelling narrative.
The editing process is an opportunity to refine your use of showing and telling, ensuring each serves the story’s purpose. With practice, you’ll develop an intuitive sense of when to show and when to tell, creating short stories that engage readers on both an emotional and intellectual level.
Ultimately, mastering the balance between showing and telling is a key component of developing your unique voice as a writer. It allows you to create vivid, memorable stories that resonate with readers long after they’ve turned the final page.
